


Not fully one thing, nor the other

by SilverRosesAndDragons



Category: The Darkest Part of the Forest - Holly Black
Genre: F/M, Gen, Introspection, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:27:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29164197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverRosesAndDragons/pseuds/SilverRosesAndDragons
Summary: Just Jack's thoughts about himself and his life.
Relationships: Hazel Evans/Jack Gordon, Jack Gordon & Severin (Darkest Part of the Forest)
Kudos: 1





	Not fully one thing, nor the other

I have always thought of myself as two. Two lives; two selves; two worlds, neither of which I entirely fit. I always kept the two parts of myself separate: my human life and my faerie life. With my mortal family, my mortal friends, I pretended to be mortal, pretended not to have magic running in my blood, pretended I didn’t sneak out to faerie revels under the Hill. With my elf mother, among the Folk, I let myself be one of them for a night, removed from my mortal life. I didn’t speak of my other family or my human friends, I pretended they didn’t exist. It was tiring, but it worked.

That is, it worked until my two worlds collided. Until Hazel woke Severin up, and the Alderking sent the monster Sorrow to attack Fairfold. Until I helped my mortal friends plot with a faerie prince against the Alderking. 

A lot changed that week. I realized that the Alderking was my biological father shortly before he was killed, and I’m glad he was. If he’d known who I was, if my mother Eolanthe hadn’t found a way to hide my parentage from him, I would have been dead long ago. Severin became king, and he privately accepted me as his brother, listening to my wish that it not be publicized. At the same time, my mortal best friend moved to the Underhill, and I learned that the girl I love is also a faerie night. My human life became so tangled with my faerie one that it was impossible to keep them completely separate. The faeries’ attacks on Fairfold under the Alderking didn’t help, reminding the mortals in the town of my faerie heritage. 

I still keep my lives separate, but they are connected. I no longer hide half of myself, depending on where I am. In the mortal realm and in faerie, I am a changeling. Not fully one thing, nor the other, but rather in between. I no longer sneak out for the full moon; instead, I walk out the front door and tell my mom Nia where I am going. She doesn’t like me to go, none of my mortal family does, but they don’t try to stop me. I dance with Hazel during revels under the Hill and during high school parties. I don’t use my glamour often in my mortal life, but it wouldn’t be much of a human life if I used faerie magic all the time. I still live two lives, still belong to two worlds, but I now understand that I am one person, with two major influences on my life. I’m not fae or mortal. I am both, and I am neither. I am a Changeling. I am just me.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading.   
> Let me know what you think? I'd really appreciate it.


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